How did you find your first love? A simple assignment
brings lifelong love and inspiration to a young writer. When an
assignment leads to falling in love, what could be better? Read on to find out how getting a job helped me fall
in love with writing.
I cannot remember a time when I
did not write to express the whirling spiral of thoughts in my brain, whether
it was logical or emotional. I have written poems, short stories and even a
manuscript (or two, possibly three). Some pieces have been written easily and
some have felt like each word was being plucked out of my brain by the keyboard
as I typed. Regardless of the ease at which it has come, I love to write. This
is the story of my journey (so far) into writing, my very first love.
Throughout my days of primary education, I excelled in
literature and writing. I was always picked to write examples on the board. A
practice I hated because I was and still am an introverted extrovert.
Basically, I like people, but am too nervous to talk to them. You can imagine
how getting up in front of a class and writing on the board or reading aloud
something I had written impacted me. (Cue the dream sequence of going to high
school naked and everyone staring at you.) Even though I hated it, I kept going
and my writing grew into a skill that my teacher at the time wanted to nurture.
Mrs. H (my teacher) asked me to help publish the student
literary magazine my junior year of high school. She asked me if I wanted to
publish anything in the magazine. My response was an emphatic, “NO”. At that
time, I wrote because I loved it or for an assignment, not because I wanted it
read by anyone and definitely not read by the public. My writing was, and to
some extent still is, a very private part of my life. I had pages and pages
written that no one had ever seen, and I liked it that way. One day while
proofing the layout before publication, I saw a familiar piece of work. It was one
of my poems, but I had not submitted it to the magazine. I went to my teacher
and showed her thinking that one of my peers had taken it out of my notebook.
Nope, she submitted it after I turned it in for class credit. This is the story
of how and why my first experience with being published was a turning point for
me as a writer.
My first published writing was a poem I had written for my
gifted class assignment regarding a major event in our lives. At fifteen and
sixteen years old, we really had not had that many experiences, so most people
in our group struggled for a topic. Teenagers are not known for their decisive nature,
or their positive decision making. Many students in the class struggled to find
their topic and worried about writing about it.
I wrote about my first job interview. I could not understand why anyone thought it
was that special. It took me under an hour, and I remember not having to think
about what I was writing. I simply sat down and wrote. I, of course, edited the
original version to fit the assignment form, but the free write of the first
draft flowed out of the pen. It was very natural, and It was the first time in
my life I had felt comfortable with what I was doing and was not the least bit
nervous. The experience was in stark contrast to what I wrote about.
I was sixteen at the time and had a job in one form or another
for two years by then doing things for my neighbors and even worked at a bakery
getting paid under the table because I was under the legal age of working at
the time. I had recently gone for my first real interview to get a position at
a movie theater. I asked my mom to help me with what to wear and what I should
and should not say at the interview. I remember being so nervous about going to
the official job interview. I worried about meeting the managers and if they
would like me. However, when I got into the room with them, I shook their
hands, sat down and just talked to them. No shaky voice or stalling until the right
answer came to me. We had a relaxed conversation. I now know they got more out
of what we talked about than just a conversation with a teenager, but at the
time it seemed effortless. When I came out of the interview, I became nervous
again and wondered when I would hear from them about the position.
The poem I wrote for our class reflected the anxiety I felt before
the interview, followed by jubilation when I found out that I was hired. The
marks my teacher wrote commented on the visceral feeling she got when she read
it. The tension was palpable as was the relief at the end. I feel lucky looking
back that it took no time at all to come up with a topic and once I did the
words just flowed and fit together for me. This assignment was when I knew that
somehow, someway I would always be a writer. Before this, I had never felt
anything come naturally to me the way writing did. I do have to say that I wish
the inspiration came as easily now as it did when I was sixteen.
I know many writers have a love-hate relationship with
inspiration and creativity. Writer’s block is a horrible feeling and I am so
thankful that my first foray into writing avoided it. My career in writing may never
have found its legs if I had faced a writing block during that assignment.
Trying to imagine my life without writing is impossible to me now, so I am grateful
every day that I was not discouraged at an early age.
I have since run into the devil casually referred to as writer’s
block, and all the horrible stories are true. It is awful and disheartening. It
feels like you may never write again. However, you will, just like I do. If you
feel the block in your brain, find something else to do for a little while. Try
taking a walk, or playing with your dog, or clean that one room in your house
that you always avoid. These things can help you take your mind off of your
writing just long enough to let the block lose power over your brain. Me
personally, I like to think back to my first writing and remember even things
that come naturally to you can feel stressful, but in the end it turns out
alright. Just like any relationship, my writing and I have run into rocky
times. We cry and yell. We do not speak to each other. We ignore each other.
But in the end, we always come back to each other and try to create something
magical. We are each other’s soulmates. True love at its finest.
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